Figuring out self-protective approach to shadow work

[archimedes]

So, as I figure out how to hit a bit 'reset' button on life and move forward, I may have to take a look at shadow work. There's a lot of things in the past that I have some struggles with. I'm not sure that bringing everything into the harsh light of day, or spending too long walking in the dark woods with it, is necessarily the best approach. I'm emotionally quite fragile in some ways, and too much introspection could be disastrous for my mental health. Forgetting is a human coping strategy.

But I think what I do need to do is to have an honest look at things, accept them, then tuck them away in a box with 'yes, that's there. I acknowledge it, but I don't need it in my present life'.

Have you come across any resources on shadow work that might be compatible with this perspective? Or any thoughts on it?

[Diana]

I understand that you don't want to do too much introspection and go wading in the mud. There must be a way to heal without getting dirty!

I don't know of any resources like books. Sorry.

But here is what I thought immediately I read your post. Firstly, I thought of a literal shadow, not a metaphorical one. A shadow gets longer and shorter depending on the position of the sun, the light, so therefore you can choose how much light you wish to shine on it. You're the sun here. You're in charge. So there's no need to fear - you can draw back anytime you wish.

Also it is matter of I would think self-identification. Do you identify yourself with the shadow which fluctuates and changes, or do you identify with the source which actually never changes and never gets bigger or smaller. A bit like the analogy I once read of a beautiful statue of yourself that lies just below the surface of the water of a lake. One can see it clearly when looking down into the lake. Suddenly the wind rises or a boat goes by, and the water gets churned and there are ripples and waves and the picture of the statue becomes all fragmented and broken. But of course, the statue never changes - and it does not identify itself with the fragmented picture.

Secondly, I thought that as shadow work is Jungian stuff, that there must surely be a way to do shadow work by dream work. Jung said that our dreams are symbolic allegories of ourselves. When we sleep we connect to different parts of ourselves, unimpeded by mental thoughts and rationalisation, in fact it would seem we connect to our subconscious and/or unconscious. So perhaps you may like to explore dream interpretation. And it would be safe I think to do with Jungian methods.

[Diana]

You know, I think the Tarot is quite sufficient to do shadow work. The Tarot is a great revealer. And a healer.

[archimedes]

You know, I think the Tarot is quite sufficient to do shadow work. The Tarot is a great revealer. And a healer.

That's a nice point. I'm kind of thinking, if I work with the right deck and ask the right questions, it might be helpful.

I liked the analogy you made in your previous reply, Marigold. I've been thinking about reflection quite a lot lately. I work in education, and everyone is all about 'reflective' practice and it gets to the point where people spend so much time reflecting that they don't actually learn anything new. Sometimes a mirror doesn't lie - but - and hopefully this is where a good deck can be useful - when we're trying to examine our own selves and lives, we can look through some very distorted lenses, see things that aren't there. And yet, as you so poetically expressed, the reflection is not ourselves.

A youtuber I was watching made the point that 'the symbol is not the thing'. Similarly, the reflection, the memory, is not the thing.

I'm trying to work on being in the here and now. Working on building memories into my identity that foster a positive sense of self and connection to others that is built on trust instead of anxiety.

[BlueStar]

I'm no expert on this topic but I think a couple of great points have been made so far by Marigold and :

The Tarot is a great revealer.
There must be a way to heal without getting dirty!

I understand your caution. Sometimes delving in to darkness from the past can be counter productive if not done in the right way. Equally I think we need to understand why things affect us or have an idea of who and how we are so we can guard against future hurts, or find ways to deal with certain situations so as to protect ourselves from being wounded.

My first thought on reading your post was that maybe you could use the tarot to explore the best path for your for shadow work, or to ask questions which might reveal to you how you can best heal from the past. Something simple which can start you on a path to exploring how best to move forward with this so that it would benefit your mental health rather then be detremental to it.

My experience of the tarot is that you can ask questions from all aspects of life, and this is one area I personally think could be helpful. There may be some spreads online you could find that could provide good starting points to use as is or to adapt to your own needs.

[archimedes]

My first thought on reading your post was that maybe you could use the tarot to explore the best path for your for shadow work,

Thanks for your thoughtful post, Bluestar. Yes, that's a good idea. I've started asking my decks about this a little, not shadow work specifically though, so that might be the next question. I need to learn a little more about shadow work first, I think. Interestingly I got out one of my decks yesterday that I've almost never used for some reason - the Arthurian Legend - and it feels just right for the current moment, with a Dark Age aesthetic and an inward mood.

[Diana]

Thanks for your thoughtful post, Bluestar. Yes, that's a good idea. I've started asking my decks about this a little, not shadow work specifically though, so that might be the next question. I need to learn a little more about shadow work first, I think. Interestingly I got out one of my decks yesterday that I've almost never used for some reason - the Arthurian Legend - and it feels just right for the current moment, with a Dark Age aesthetic and an inward mood.

Archimedes, if you decide to go down the Tarot road for your shadow work, I want to share the following with you. Most of it you may say you know that already, but I thought it may be useful anyway. For you or anyone reading this in the past or the future (we're Tarot readers right... we work backwards and forwards )

Yesterday I read an interesting interview with Christine Jette, who wrote Shadow Work: Using the Dark Symbols to Heal.

I didn't bookmark it unfortunately and I can't find it in my history. There's so much history that it's lost somewhere. I found another long interview with her but not the one I was looking for. Anyway, in the interview, she stresses strongly the importance of the choice of the tarot deck when one is using the Tarot for shadow work. And I'm thinking that you should buy a book (not necessarily hers) and read it even before contemplating which deck you would use. You need to know first what this shadow work with Tarot will entail. A book, or even two so you can compare and understand better, would perhaps be the first step. Really before choosing the deck. This deck will accompany you for a long time. It must be the right one for you. It can't be chosen in a hurry. It will be your guide and your friend. You will need to be trusting and faithful to each other.

It would have to be a thorough method that you feel you can trust and with which you feel comfortable. Written by someone with a thorough background on the subject and in psychology or similar. If the first method you try doesn't feel right, maybe the second one will. So don't give up on it. In any case, I don't think you should wing it on your own. Even if you sometimes adapt the book's instructions a bit (we're all individuals after all).

I'm thinking you shouldn't go into this work without some kind of method and something that you can rely on to show you the footsteps you should take. And how to avoid the pitfalls. This journey you could be going on if you choose this path will be rich with discovery and wonder and you will uncover much gold and treasure - and sometimes you'll have to dig through some muck to get to the other side - but then there will be gold and treasure again. And the gold and treasure will ACCUMULATE. That's the really really nifty thing. It doesn't stay behind. You take it with you. You get richer and richer.

The more efficient you are, the more you'll accumulate and the less muck there'll be. To be efficient, one also needs some kind of method. This is serious work... but could be hugely hugely rewarding.

For what it's worth, I found a review of Christine Jette's book by Mary Greer somewhere where she sort of praised the book and the author. I can't find the review either in my history unfortunately nor in google. I don't what strange cyber paths led me to it.

[Charlie Brown]

Benebel Wen has a shadow work primer workbook on her website. I haven't really gone through it, but it does look pretty quality at first glance.

[Diana]

Benebel Wen has a shadow work primer workbook on her website. I haven't really gone through it, but it does look pretty quality at first glance.

Indeed, it was even spoken about here very positively if I remember.

[archimedes]

Benebel Wen has a shadow work primer workbook on her website. I haven't really gone through it, but it does look pretty quality at first glance.

Indeed, it was even spoken about here very positively if I remember.

Hmm ok, so I just clicked through to her site and found the workbook. Interestingly, one of her first comments in the introductory page is to choose a deck that feels like 'part of you' - akin to your advice on choosing the deck, Marigold. My instinctive response there is to go back to my old Spiral, as that is most definitely my deck. It's so old and beaten up - secondhand when I bought it - the poor darling has had a hard life. Bit like me lol. I considered buying a new copy, but I suspect new editions will be that dreadfully thin cardstock that seems to be in vogue. These cards have substance. Love this deck.

I actually have the background in psychology myself so some ability to 'vet' the psychological value of what I'm doing, and so I really appreciated your comment on finding advice from someone who knows what they are doing - there's so much out there that has been written almost as a flight of fancy.

An aside: a couple of years ago, I had the opportunity to walk a maze that had been made on the grass, just using flour as a marker. It was surprisingly grounding and beautiful. Being with a group of people making and walking the maze, the movement and turning and following the path, it was really quite a shift in consciousness. That the maze was transient, so of the moment, was also important. I find myself really wanting to revisit that experience.

[Diana]

An aside: a couple of years ago, I had the opportunity to walk a maze that had been made on the grass, just using flour as a marker. It was surprisingly grounding and beautiful. Being with a group of people making and walking the maze, the movement and turning and following the path, it was really quite a shift in consciousness. That the maze was transient, so of the moment, was also important. I find myself really wanting to revisit that experience.

Sounds amazing. If it revealed so much to you, it sounds like a splendid idea to revisit the experience again. Both outwardly and inwardly. The maze is within us after all. Everything is within us. Everything. There's no other place for it to be but within our consciousness. (Funny that we never talk of consciousnesses. It's always singular.).

Something I read the other day came back to mind this morning. It was about healing. It said something to the effect that healing is nothing to do with fixing broken things, but by uncovering and realising our potential or potentials. I like this idea. We then don't focus on what is broken but what is possible.

[archimedes]

Something I read the other day came back to mind this morning. It was about healing. It said something to the effect that healing is nothing to do with fixing broken things, but by uncovering and realising our potential or potentials. I like this idea. We then don't focus on what is broken but what is possible.

I really like this idea. So many self-care strategies seem to focus on the limitation rather than what is possible. I think also, I need to create some space. I feel a strong urge to retreat at the moment. I pretty much always have - like many of us, I think - you get exhausted by just constantly dealing with whatever life throws at you. Funnily enough, I spent a few moments with the Druidcraft thismorning, as I've been listening to Philip Carr-Gomm, and drew the Hermit. Don't make major decisions, but look inward.

I generally have avoided things like meditation - they don't usually sit well with me, as I think I tend to associate them with those 'new age' appropriation of 'exotic' practices, and with being rather self-centered and individualistic, but of course, centering the self is not the same as being self-centered. And we are, in terms of viewpoint and perspective, the centers of our own universes.

I'm reminded of Joseph Campbell's comments about needing to live 'inside' a myth; you can't experience it as an outsider. You need to inhabit it, to participate in it.

[Diana]

So many self-care strategies seem to focus on the limitation rather than what is possible.

(...................... )

I generally have avoided things like meditation - they don't usually sit well with me, as I think I tend to associate them with those 'new age' appropriation of 'exotic' practices, and with being rather self-centered and individualistic, but of course, centering the self is not the same as being self-centered. And we are, in terms of viewpoint and perspective, the centers of our own universes.

I'm reminded of Joseph Campbell's comments about needing to live 'inside' a myth; you can't experience it as an outsider. You need to inhabit it, to participate in it.

Absolutely in agreement with you regarding the first sentence in the quoted part of your post. They drag people down instead of up. They land up in the same place often, but just with different kinds of problems.

Meditation in the West after it was introduced widely in the 20th century, was quickly taken up by the new age people and it was soon travestied. Like most of the meditation sessions on YouTube. They're a hodge podge of relaxation techniques, visualisation and basic breathing practices. It's all very superficial. And all part of this new age business of "self development". It's all very individualistic and self-centered. One of the hugest travesties was in the book "The Secret" which became such a big best seller. Here one is using these techniques for personal gain, even material gain. That's ABSOLUTELY not what meditation is all about. One goes to meditation purely for meditating. For nothing else. One goes into meditation with no desires except to become one with the stillness. The "Be Still" becomes "BE the Stillness that YOU ARE". That is all that is required. The key word is "BE".

One day maybe we can discuss meditation in a dedicated thread. One can of course meditate by means other than lying on a bed or sitting on the floor in a lotus position with palms upright - the latter being so ill adapted to westerners - just sit or lie comfortably for god's sake. In meditation one should be as little aware as possible of the body. So if you're sitting, lying, hanging upside down, who cares.

Some people meditate through drumming, through chamanistic practices for instance. Loads of ways to reach that "Presence" within, that fountain of peace and love and wisdom.

[Symph]

I appreciate your honesty and get you on being afraid of what lies underneath the surface! Two youtubers jump out at me as having good videos and talks about shadow work, Teal Swan and Matt Khan. I think Teal may have a book on the subject but I'm not sure, Matt is good at making shadow work seem less scary, and showing us we are not here to remove the shadow, but to transform it into the light. Hope you find what you are looking for!

[Starlight]

Two youtubers jump out at me as having good videos and talks about shadow work, Teal Swan and Matt Khan. I think Teal may have a book on the subject but I'm not sure, Matt is good at making shadow work seem less scary, and showing us we are not here to remove the shadow, but to transform it into the light.

Hi Symph! I've been looking through all the shadow work threads and saw this. I'm not familiar wirh Matt Khan so I'll check him out. Tfs.

As for Teal Swan, I've read some online articles from people who feel she isn't a safe resource for this type of work. I'll see if I can find them and link them here.

I've learned to be very careful about who I learn from and do some research first and just wanted to share.

ETA: I won't add any links as a Google search brings them up.

[archimedes]

Thanks for those thoughts, Symph and Starlight, I'll check out those suggestions. It's certainly wise to be cautious who you listen to. There's a huge boom of people jumping on the occult and self help bandwagons trying to make it as 'influencers' and some have very little real experience. They are separately dangerous areas when people set themselves up as experts with no training, and doubly dangerous brought together!

[Symph]

Two youtubers jump out at me as having good videos and talks about shadow work, Teal Swan and Matt Khan. I think Teal may have a book on the subject but I'm not sure, Matt is good at making shadow work seem less scary, and showing us we are not here to remove the shadow, but to transform it into the light.

Hi Symph! I've been looking through all the shadow work threads and saw this. I'm not familiar wirh Matt Khan so I'll check him out. Tfs.

As for Teal Swan, I've read some online articles from people who feel she isn't a safe resource for this type of work. I'll see if I can find them and link them here.

I've learned to be very careful about who I learn from and do some research first and just wanted to share.

ETA: I won't add any links as a Google search brings them up.

I kind of forgot about this forum to be honest with you, got sucked into other things. You know I've only watched youtube videos by Teal and for the most part found them to be really great, when she did one on Suicide though it did NOT sit well with me, but I just thought "well no one is perfect, she's always been a little extreme"... I feel I really wasn't taking this seriously enough. I looked her up because of your post and I see now how that video on suicide should have caused me to do deeper research on her. It absolutely would appear that she is a dangerous person to listen to if anyone is mentally or emotionally unstable, and it would appear she may also be mentally and emotionally unstable. It's a shame because she really does give some great talks and great advice imo, I'd even go so far to say that most of what she says is quite insightful and helpful. But when we are dealing with people's emotions and heavy topics like mental health and depression, even one video giving dangerous or faulty advice could be devastating to someone. I myself will probably continue to watch her, I'm emotionally stable and when she sounds off to me I just go "Yeah I don't agree with that", but I won't be referring her to other people anymore, if someone was in a low place she could be very harmful to that person. Thanks for making me aware of that.